


Pride

by NaniTheQuiznak



Category: Hamilton - Miranda, Hamilton - Miranda (Broadway Cast) RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Lams - Freeform, M/M, Obsessive Behavior, Possessive Behavior, Soulmate-Identifying Marks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-28
Updated: 2017-05-28
Packaged: 2018-11-06 03:03:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11027262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NaniTheQuiznak/pseuds/NaniTheQuiznak
Summary: John always dreamed about his soulmate, the one he was destined to be with.Alexander on the other hand, he was too busy with writing for whatever he wrote for.And what can they say? College is hard.





	Pride

**Author's Note:**

> I just wanted to write Lams, and it's rushed and empty and i don't care. Enjoy. I swear I am capable of writing better. But i'm just so lazyyyyy

Alexander sat on his bed with crossed legs, and a warm blanket isolating him from his surroundings. A cup of Macchiato on his bedside table, and his laptop seated, which was plugged in, on his lap.  

He was already used to this. He knew college was hard, he had heard enough stories from the varieties of foster parents he has had. He experienced it last year, yet this year he skipped two years of his 5 year scholarship in college, that's a rare case. And now he had a pretty busy life. Plus being two years ahead of his peers, now he's in the narrative. He wished he could erase himself from it, but sadly life isn't that easy. He was in the spotlight. Some even thought he was to smart for life, and that's why there were many rumours about him. 

His eyes were fixated on the screen, the dim light illuminating in his irises. It was peaceful and quiet, on the people chattering outside after. He was in a trance, one that nobody dared to break. Alexander sighed, he never liked taking a break but he hasn't slept in a week due to an essay he was working on. It wasn't even for school, just for himself. He had done some research in the break, and started working on it. Wanting it to be finished before actually classes started again. 

He looked at the right corner of his screen, it was the sixteenth of September. Something about the date triggered an important event. Alex couldn't remember what it was, his brain was thinking about his new schedule for his morning classes. 

It was then, he realised it was the start of a new-

''Bonjour!'' A manly voice spoke out. More like shouted, and it startled Alexander. His head snapped up to the owner of the vocal. 

''Ah, mon ami! Je m'appelle Marie-Joseph Paul Yves Roch Gilbert du Motier de Lafayette, mais, vous pouvez m'appeler Lafayette!'' The intruder in his dormroom spoke out in fluent French, a proud smirk fixated on his tanned face.

''Ah, salut? Je suis Alexander Hamilton, ç'est un plaisir de vous rencontrer, Lafayette.'' Alexander spoke out cautiously. The face of Lafayette twisted into a shocked expression, and Alex held back his laugh.

''Pourquoi es-tu ici?'' Alexander asked, his eyebrows knitted together slightly. What was this man doing here?

''Ah well, I'm your new roommate! Haven't they told you that there were lack of dorm rooms, so they put people who asked for no roommate with one?'' Lafayette asked, an obvious French accent in his tone.

''Probably,'' Alex shrugged, ''Sorry if I'm distant. I'm actually very social, I just haven't had proper sleep for a week.'' Alex admitted, and closed his laptop, as the room went dark. For some reason he trusted this complete stranger, he had a trustable aura.

Lafayette walked towards the window and opened the curtains, the bright impact blinding Alex for a moment. ''So, you're the one that Jefferson guy was talking about huh?'' Lafayette chuckled.

''Jefferson? What bullcrap was he spouting today?'' Alexander groaned, Jefferson and he were never on good terms. 

 

''No offense but...Something about you being a Fag, a show-off and the definition of crazy.'' Lafayette spoke carefully as he unpacked his stuff and laid them neatly on his bed. Alex stared at the man on the other side of the room, an eyebrow raised.

''Well, seems he overdid it again,'' Alex shook his head and sighed. He really needed sleep, he kept zoning out, and his eyelids became heavier and heavier.

''Get some rest, mon ami. It seems like you need it. I'll be out for a bit once I'm settled,'' The Frenchman spoke kindly, a warm smile playing on his lips.

Alex nodded and laid down, his eyes closed automatically as sleep consumed him.

 

____________________

 

''He has bags under his eyes, that isn't healthy!'' A hushed voice whisper shouted. Alexander didn't recognise the voice. For a moment he thought it was a thieve, until he heard a familiar accent. 

''Je sais! Let him be-'' 

Alex opened his eyes and groaned as the sunlight blinded him, black spots covered his vision. 

''Oh zut! We woke him up,'' Lafayette spoke worriedly.

Alex rubbed his eyes, as if it would wake him up more. Blinking a few times, his vision was clear again, as he looked to his side, seeing Lafayette and a stranger beside his bed.

''Who are you?'' He asked sleepily, pointing at the man beside his roommate.

''I'm Hercules Mulligan. I'm Laf's soulmate,'' the man, named Hercules, spoke out with an Irish acent, his lips tugged upwards slightly.

Soulmate. 

The word repeated in his mind, over and over again. Like a song stuck on repeat, and after a while you just get sick of the song.

Alexander's eyes travelled to their wrists, seeing their completed tattoo. Two crossed guns, in black ink. He had never paid any attention to his, he didn't care. He never minded it. But right now, it all came crashing down on him. 

''Alexander Hamilton,'' He smiled and held out his hand. Hercules took it with a smile and shook his hand in a polite manner. Lafayette noticed Alex's soulmate tattoo when his sleeve had slipped down. 

A beautiful quill, and that was it. Situated on his left wrist, in a strange angle.

''Sorry if we woke you.'' Hercules smiled apologetically. Alexander shook his head, dismissing him. ''It's okay, what time is it?'' 

''You slept through the night, it's already eleven in the morning.'' Lafayette informed.

''What? Shucks! I gotta get back to work!'' he said worriedly, snatching his laptop from his bedside table. 

''Work? From what we've heard all you do is work,'' Lafayette snorted jokingly, but Alexander frowned. 

''It needs to be done before classes start again,'' He stated, not wanting to argue with the two acquaintances. 

''Haven't you heard?'' Hercules asked, and the way he said it drew Alexander's attention away from his laptop. 

''Heard what?'' He asked confused.

''Classes don't start until end September. There was a leak in the school system, so we have the month off.'' The Frenchman smiled.

''Which also means, you're stuck with us. Welcome to our squad! Even though one person is missing,'' Lafayette smirked, and closed Alexander's laptop once again. ''Hop hop, get dressed so we can go get lunch together.''

And so Alexander ended up walking through the dorm corridors with Lafayette and Hercules.

''So who are we missing again?'' He asked curiously, Alex didn't have the chance to ask yet. 

''My roommate, he's great.'' Herc replied happily, subtly intertwining his fingers with Laf's. Alexander made distance and glared at the back of the two love birds. Suddenly he felt a sharp pain in his chest, and he recognised it directly.

Jealousy

Of course, he had felt it enough times when other kids would get adopted and he would be left behind in the orphanage. It was the same kind of envy as he is feeling right now. The feeling of not being loved. Anger filled his guts, as Alexander baled his hand into a fist, his nails digging into the rough flesh.

''Ah, he texted that we should meet him outside on the central square by the fountain.'' Lafayette mumbled out loud as his eyes scanned over his phone screen.

''Let's go then.'' Hercules said as they walked down the stairs.

Alexander inhaled the fresh air, he had been locked up in that stuffy room for way too long. He realised that now.

He trailed behind Lafayette and Hercules, letting them lead the way. He tried to ignore all the shocked looks he got from fellow students, whispering and giggling.

''John!'' Herc shouted and they came to a stop. Alex looked down at his black sneakers, not wanting to look up at this so called 'John'.

''Who's that?'' The voice was soft and gentle, angelic even. It was so full and heavy of emotions, but yet it felt light as a feather. 

''Hamilton. Alexander Hamilton.'' Laf said, a sly grin noticeable in his voice. 

''Alex, mon ami, you've gone blind. Look up,'' Lafayette laughed quietly, and Alexander tensed.

Something felt wrong. Really wrong. His vision stayed downcast, until a pair of red sneakers, the same brand as his, came into his view. He flinched and looked up in a flash, his eyes connected another pair.

Gravity gave up on him, as he couldn't move. Time had stopped, and also his heart mid-beat.

And now he knew what was wrong. 

Himself

He himself was so wrong, for never wanting to meet his soulmate. 

He was sure that this man was his soulmate.

His

He wanted them to be. 

Like the whole world had disappeared around them in a teardrop. It was only this stranger and him standing there face to face. Their curly hair tied up in a bun, pale skin dotted with freckles, their eyes keened with energy. He was the definition of adorableness. His lips were plump and held an alluring soft pink colour. He had chubby cheeks, and thin eyebrows. He was a goddess, perfect even.

Alexander, for once, had no words. No words to write down about this man. No words to describe anything. His mind went blank.

Gravity came back crashing down to earth. The gear wheels of time started turning again, slowly and steadily. And Alexander wasn't sure if his heart had stopped beating, if it skipped a beat, or if it did two beats at the same time.

The gorgeous man in front of him cleared his throat, ''I a-am John Laurens, nice to... finally meet you,'' He had hesitated, but a cute smile tugged at his lips, dimples forming as he did. 

Alexander felt like he was going to faint any moment now. ''I'm Alexander H-Ham-..m-mil...'' He stuttered, but his eyes were stuck on the beautiful creature in front of him. He trailed off, not knowing what he was blabbering anymore. Too distracted by the beauty in front of him. He didn't dare to blink, afraid this man was going to disappear in an eye-blink. 

''Hamilton, right?'' John asked with a chuckle. His eyes twinkling as he laughed. 

''Y-Yeah...'' Alexander was helpless, his heart went 'boom'. He couldn't even think straight, not with this man in front of him. He'd make a U-turn immediately for this precious boy, without a second thought, nor one single doubt.

Alexander could write an infinite amount of essays just describing the eyes of the latter. 

''Do you like books? I love books, and i think you're a book...'' Alexander mumbled, in a daze. His eyes not leaving the boy in front of him once. John's face heated up at the mumbled words which he understood clearly by how close they were. This didn't go unnoticed by Alexander. 

He found John breathtaking, everything he did, even John breathing was mesmerising to Alexander.

''Mon amis?'' Lafayette asked quietly, but alas, he didn't achieve anything. As the two boys kept scanning the others features.

''Could they be?'' Lafayette asked his soulmate. 

''Oh definitely,'' 

Finally the two snapped out of it, and looked to the ground again. Alexander raised his trembling arm, afraid of what he was going to see. Afraid he'd see the same old blank space.

He inhaled sharply as he rolled up the sleeve of his black sweater, and to his surprise, there was now an old paper like design under is quill. A few heartbeat lines on it. Another arm, with the exact same tattoo appeared beside his. Only on their right arm. 

Alexander noticed he was smiling, a smile he had never smiled before. He looked up, as he noticed John was searching the other's eyes. They connected, and it felt like their was a bond formed right there and then.

''I guess we're meant to be?'' John laughed, as his cheeks were still painted with a blush.

Alex thought about how he wanted to cup those soft looking cheeks, trail his,thumb over those lips, feel them against his, see if their hands locked together perfectly. 

But they only just met.

''Alright love birds, time to go. I'm hungry.'' Laf whined and pulled Hercules along by the hand.

John and Alex shared one last glance before tailing behind the other two. The distance between them got smaller and smaller, as both the boys subtly walked closer to each other. 

Yeah, they only know each other's names, but if destiny made them for each other, they won't question it. It already feels like they've known each other for a lifetime.

Their hands brushed against each other, and both of them flinched. Alex wanted to, he really did. 

And he thought, ''Fuck it''.

He opened his hand in front of them, and John glanced at it, then Alex. Still walking awkwardly behind the other two. John grinned at the action and gladly laid his hand on Alex's. The shorter one of the two, Alexander, locked their hands together, by intertwining their fingers. John followed swiftly, as a chain locked, their hands were inseparable.

Their locked hands lowered until they were between the two. And even though all Alex knew about John was his name, he felt the connection.

He might write like he's running out of time and like tomorrow won't arrive. He's willing to wait for it, if it comes to John.

Little did he know, how naive he could be to himself. 

___________________

 

A few weeks had passed, and Alex and John haven't spend any minute apart. John switched rooms with Lafayette, so Alex and he were together. Classes started again, luckily John and Alex both took morning classes. 

They build up a routine and everything was going perfectly the first week. They cuddled and studied while being close to the other. They ate together, and sometimes one would fall asleep on the others bed, and they would snuggle close and fall asleep beside each other. Kisses on the cheek, forehead, neck, shoulder, hand, arms,... 

That is, until Alexander started overworking again.

Lately, John and Alex bickered a lot. If it isn't John complaining that Alex never cleans his rubbish, then it's Alex complaining that John is too clingy and that he needs his personal space. Sometimes days would go by where nobody said anything to the other.

And lately, those days were a lot.

John came back later than usual. And Alexander noticed.

''Where were you?! I'm hungry.'' He growled. 

John flinched, and his eyes snapped to meet furious looking ones. He already knew Alex had anger issues, and he would sometimes snap at him. But never with such a tone he held now.

''Excuse you? I have a life too you know?!'' John snapped. If it would be any other day, he'd be fine with it. But today? No, now he knew what he really meant to his soulmate.

''Yeah, but you didn't even bring me food!'' Alex raised his voice.

''Get your own damn food! I'm not your maiden!'' 

''Oh really now? You're always cleaning, aren't you?!'' Alex started shouting this time, his kettle has reached its boiling point.

''Because you don't! I always clean your mess! It's like that's the only reason you like me! Do you even like me?! Who knows!? All you do is write! Some of it isn't even for school! It's like i'm the only one trying in this goddamn relationship!!'' John screamed back, his eyes glazed over with tears. And he took shaky short breaths, he was hyperventilating and his lip trembled.

He despised screaming and shouting. Mostly bickering. His father would always scream at him because he was gay, because said father was a homophobe and despised his son. Because said father would abuse John's mother and scream at her. Because said father beat his son up, after his wife left him for another woman.

John's only reason for going on was his soulmate, he knew he could be happy with them. That he would be loved.

''It's because i'm not trying at all! I never wanted this! I never wanted a soulmate in the first place! I never asked for one!'' Alex shouted as he stood up storming over to John. John got scared and stepped back until his back hit the wall. He was scared. You should never be scared of your partner, let alone soulmate.

''I never asked for you! There's a reason why we aren't dating yet! You're too clingy and annoying! Stop being such a crybaby!'' Alexander spat out the words with venom. Johns hands were pushing against Alex's chest, trying to keep him off. Alexander's breath hit John's cheek, as he had turned his head to the side. He held in a sob, as outcome that he made a choking noise. He smelled the alcohol in Alexander's breath. Everything went quiet. John looked up, and meekly pushed Alex away from him.

And john finally lost his composure and broke. The cracks in his fragile heart widening to extend.

Salty tears slid down his cheeks, as his breath caught up in his throat.

''Well then, i guess your life would be better without me in it then, right?'' John spoke quietly, but loud enough for the enraged beast to hear. A hight pitch to his tone.

John turned to the closet and opened it, taking out his bag and stuffing all his clothes inside.

''W-What are you doing?'' A rushed voice asked desperately.

''Leaving.'' John answered short and steady. 

''What? N-No... stop!'' Alex's eyes filled with tears as he desperately took John's arm trying to stop him from packing. John snatched his arm back. But Alex just took it again and again. 

John stood up in a flash and Alex followed, but what the shorter male didn't expect was the slap he received.

John slapped his soulmate with all his might, as Alex fell to the ground. 

''Congratulations, you invented a new kind of stupid. I hope you're happy now Hamilton,'' John spat, as he held back his tears. His lip trembled again, but he held back, he held back for his own sake.

He grabbed his bag and opened the door, debating if he needed to look back. Not knowing what he should expect, he dared to take the risk.

John turned around with a cold glare, as his eyes fell upon a lifeless body sitting on the ground. Yet his eyes were so apologetic, but John wouldn't fall for it this time. Not again. 

''Goodbye Alexander.''

And the door closed.

 

__________________

 

Yes, Alexander messed up bad. He knew about John's dad and his anxieties. After John left, for good, Alex fainted.

He awoke the next day, sober, and he cried. But not for long. He realised two things at the very exact moment when the first tears were shed.

One; It was John's birthday yesterday , the 28th of October.

Two; John's only reason to live was his soulmate and particularly his soulmate rejected him

Alexander had never ran so fast in his life as he did then.

Not even hoping that it would be unlocked. He tried to pull open the door of Lafayette's and Hercules' dorm-room. As outcome it was locked and he smashed his own face against the wooden door.

The door opened in a rush, and there stood Lafayette, a glare fixated on his face. 

''I want to laugh, and i am internally, trust me. But you definitely deserved that. Oh and good job door,'' Lafayette patted his door, and if looks could kill, Alexander would've been dead before he was even born.

''So-'' Lafayette started, Hercules was now standing beside his own soulmate, shooting the same despicable look at Alex.

''Where's John?!'' He interrupted, worry, concern, sadness all mingled into his broken vocal.

''Why would we-" Hercules started, but to no appeal Alexander cut him off again.

''I don't care what you have to say! Just tell me where he is before i smash both of you with your own goddamn door!''

''He's safe. And that's all you need to know,'' Hercules said in a bold manner, and then the door was slammed shut.

Alexander stood still for a few minutes , before sliding down the wall, some people walking by.

He couldn't cry, the tears wouldn't come. If John was safe, then Alex would be relieved. But he didn't want John to be just safe. He wanted John to be in his arms. Where his soulmate belonged.

John had nowhere to go, so was he inside the room?

Alex decided to stay put.

And he gradually fell asleep again.

___________________

Alexander woke up from someone shaking him. He flinched and shot up, he realised he had fallen asleep in the hallway. He looked up to be faced by a worried Lafayette and Hercules. 

''He's with Jefferson.'' Laf said softly, they finally realised that Alex was suffering too.

Anger and jealousy filled Alex up to the brink, but he had no willpower left. 

It took a few seconds for Alexander to register the new information. But once it clicked, he gave his companions a pathetic smile and ran off to wherever. 

He'd get John back, even if it's the last thing he'd do.

 

___________________

 

With the help of Laf and Herc, Alexander managed to get John to speak to him. Even though John doesn't know that yet.

''Why did i need to come again?'' John asked in an irritated voice.

''You need to listen,'' Herc said and glanced towards Alex who was hiding behind the corner. They were at the McDonalds, it's closed but they had asked to hire it for a while. After explaining their plan, the manager agreed.

''Listen to what?'' John groaned.

''The doors are locked, you can't escape.'' Laf said and he and his soulmate stood up. Walking away, to the doors, once they were out they locked them.

John stared at them confused, until he heard footsteps approach him. 

His eyes travelled to the person who was now seated in front of him.

His eyes filled with tears again.

''Let me explain first, please!'' Alex begged, wanting to reach out, and he did, but stopped himself and retreated.

John thought about it for a few minutes.

He then nodded, he didn't trust his voice. He sighed, knowing that there was no way out. 

''I'm sorry, first of all. And i know that's not gonna cut it. I was drunk. And i never drink but...look, at first i never wanted a soulmate, but when i met you... it just... you're amazing. And i treated you like shit. And if there's anyone that should be blamed it's me. The reason i acted like that was... erm... fuck this is hard... just give me a second...'' Alexander breathed deeply, he wiped away some forming tears. John noticed his behaviour, and curiosity and worry started to overpower all the hurt and hate he held.

''Before you came back, i got a phone call. From my previous orphanage..,'' Alexander spoke out quietly, his fist clenched onto the table and tears leaking. John couldn't hold back the urge and laid his hand on Alex's. squeezing his hand softly and comfortingly.

Alex inhaled shaky breath. 

''They found out that my real biological father, that.... let me explain first. He was in jail for lifelong punishment. He cheated on my mother and abused other women. Since my mother was pregnant of me, he didn't abuse her. H-He... he committed suicide. That's why they called. My last family member by blood... gone. I was so upset, so i drunk. I... my father was apparently always drunk, and he had anger issues. So do i, and we out it on the people we love. I saw you hugging Jefferson outside by the fountain John. I don't know why you,hugged him and i.... UGH! It pissed me off to beyond. You are MINE! And MINE only! Nobody else's! I'M JUST-... I...But... i guess you... were...mine...'' Alex spoke softer. He didn't look up, he just looked at the freckled hand.

''I didn't hug Jefferson? We bumped and he caught me? Then he pushed me to the ground...'' John laughed. 

It was quiet, here in the McDonalds, uptown.

''I'm so sorry i forgot your birthday...'' Alex choked on a sob, ignoring John's last statement. He hid his face, he was always an ugly cryer. 

''A-Alex... I...'' John started, but he had no words, he never knew all this, they were both at fault.

Alex looked up, and dared to make eye contact, no words were needed anymore. But Alex was all for words.

''I love you John, you don't even know how much. Just... Alcohol changes me. I say the complete opposite of what i mean, but i show the emotions of what i really feel. I... I'm so sorry... can we just, start over? Please give me a second chance!''

John searched the shorter man's face, his brain debating if it was was the right choice or not. But he was at fault too, there was no way to deny it. He should've been more understanding, he should've known there would've been a reason for Alexander's actions. 

He replayed the words and the new information he just received, over and over in his mind. A small smile found it's way onto his face.

''What did you say again?, Was it: 'you are mine', are you overprotective or something?'' John asked coldly. But internally he was so hyped. He found the tone that Alexander had used when he said it incredibly... comforting and hot at the same time?

''Yeah... i am, trust me. Way to overprotective and greedy,'' Alexander chuckled nervously.

''You hurt me Alexander. You really did. If it's not for school or something else...You always write. This wasn't the first time we... fought. And you know that.''

''Listen, I write... well write essays defending my father, i knew he was in jail, but i just... that's why I'm studying rights, so i could become a lawyer and defend him in court. So one day he could be free. But all this, it was all for nothing ...'' The shorter male explained.

''W-What?'' John whispered as his voice broke.

''Yeah...'' Alex squeezed John's hand back, just happy to hold it again.

John felt so stupid after hearing that.

''I'm sorry, I didn't know. Yeah of course I'll give you a second chance! It's me who needs one though, you deserve better than me.''

''Don't say that. You're perfect, you're...'' Alex started and sighed. He released John's hand and stood up. John followed, scared Alex would leave. The tables had turned.

''You, John Laurens. Are the best thing that has ever happened to me. Let's just forget what happened, alright?'' Alex asked as he pulled John closer by taking his hands in his own.

''Yeah...'' John breathed out, a smile forming on his face.

''Oh fuck it!'' Alex groaned and cupped John's cheeks, pulling him down to his height and slammed his lips against the taller male's ones. John giggled as he wrapped his arms around Alex's waist, tugging him closer.

Both of the boys heard Lafayette scream from the outside: ''That's gay!''

Followed by Hercules spouting curse words at his soulmate.

They both breathed a breathy laugh, as they pulled away reluctantly.

''Will you be mine again, this time for real?'' Alexander asked, his thumbs stroking John's chubby freckled cheeks.

''Yeah, I've been yours from the start.'' John smiled and leaned down to peck his boyfriends lips.

Suddenly Alex pulled away in a rush, ''Oh, I almost forgot again,'' Alex said, disappearing behind the corner and appearing again with a bowl.

''Happy birthday John.'' Alex smiled a cheeky smile.

John screeched when he saw his present in the bowl.

As he hugged his boyfriend as tightly as he could.

Inside the bowl, was a baby turtle.

**Author's Note:**

> The end
> 
> And they lived happily ever after
> 
>  
> 
> Yeah it was empty and rushed but i just wanted it out y'know? Don't blame me, it's after midnight. And i have school tomorrow but oh well, fuck it.
> 
> Thanks for reading this crappy one-shot! I can do better i swear. But y'know, whatever.
> 
> Lol i ain't sorry for spelling errors


End file.
